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.If there was one thing that got under my skin, it was that.Adrenaline ran through my system, and I could feel my other side starting to emerge.I struggled to keep it down.They couldn’t know.Nobody knew my secret, not for sure.The rumors about my mom had flown fast and furious through the halls of my high school, and the teasing had gotten worse, but I ignored it.If I didn’t respond, they might think it wasn’t true.That there wasn’t an animal hiding inside of me.“Don’t you dare talk like that—”“Tommy, it’s okay.Come on,” I said, pulling at his arm.I could feel him relenting.“Oh man, your bitch is in a hurry,” Mike said.“She must be in heat.Quick, put your dick in her.”To my relief, Tommy turned away and walked with me down the hall.His face was beet red and sweat beaded on his upper lip.Behind us, the insults kept coming.“Bitch! Fat bitch!”“I hear she’s wild in bed!”“Arroooooo!”Finally we turned the corner.Tommy pressed the button for the elevator, but his hand was shaking.We got into the elevator and he stood fuming silently next to me.I wiped my sweaty hands on the sides of my dress.“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to make him feel better.“Those assholes won’t get anywhere in life.They’re just jealous.”“I know that!” Tommy spat.“They’ll pay.When I’m in charge, they’ll be begging me for favors.They’ll pay, alright.”“It’s my fault,” I said, knowing he would comfort me.“It’s all because I am… what I am.”“You’re a beautiful girl, Natalie,” Tommy said, but his face stuck in a snarl.“They’re the real animals.They’re not worth your little pinky, not the lot of them.”“They’re worth exactly… one of my fingers,” I said, giving the middle finger to the closed elevator door.Whenever I was around Tommy, I could let my sarcastic side out, and making Tommy laugh was the greatest thrill of my life in high school.He laughed only once, though, a sharp laugh that snapped shut as the elevator jerked upwards.Even with my joking, a frown creased his face as he led me down the hallway to the hotel room, and he nearly slammed the door shut behind us.My heart pounded.I didn’t know whether I was more nervous because of the bullies or because of Tommy.I’d never seen him so mad.He swept a hand through his dark hair and went over to the hotel bar.He pulled out a small flask of whisky and poured a glass.“This room is beautiful,” I said, trying to distract him.“It cost enough,” Tommy said.I turned to see him swallow a half glass of whisky.He coughed and poured another glass.The amber liquid splashed against the faceted crystal, and I looked away.It really was a lovely room.The walls were decorated with abstract oil paintings, and I went over to one to see it closer.Red and gold lines crisscrossed against a dark background.My fingers followed the paintbrush strokes.Behind me, I could hear Tommy moving back to the light switch, and then the lights dimmed by half.I swallowed.“Did you see this painting?” I asked.“It’s gorgeous.”Tommy came by me and glanced up at the painting, then back at me.“It’s not half as gorgeous as you are,” he said, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.I could smell the whisky on his lips as he leaned forward to kiss me.I closed my eyes and kissed him back.His tongue was hot, probing, and he slid one hand around the back of my waist, pulling me forward.I felt something inside of me twist up.Desire, mixed with fear.Then, all of a sudden, he pulled back.“Do you want a drink?” he asked.He went back to the bar and began pouring whisky in a glass before I could answer.“Thank you,” I said softly.“I’ll get back at those jerks for you,” Tommy said.He turned back to me and pushed the glass into my hand.“You don’t have to,” I said, sitting down at the corner of the bed.Across the plush carpet, Tommy paced back and forth.“I will, though.I’ll get back at all of them.I won’t forget, not ever.One day, I’ll take care of them.For you.”Tommy’s voice was cold and hard, and I took a sip of whisky.I almost choked.The whisky stung the back of my throat and burned all the way down.Even in my stomach, it burned.“It’s an acquired taste,” Tommy said, swirling his glass around and holding it up to the dim light.“That’s what my dad says.You’ll get used to it eventually.”Taking another sip, I struggled not to cough.The sting made my eyes water, but by the third sip I could breathe a bit easier.My shoulders relaxed as the alcohol hit my system.I’d snuck sips of my dad’s beers before, but this was much, much stronger.I finished the glass and Tommy went to pour more.I covered the glass with my hand.“No,” I said.He frowned and my heart skipped.“No thank you, I mean.I’m fine.”“I just want you to be relaxed,” Tommy said.He moved my hand away.“Oh—okay,” I said.I remembered reading about the first time having sex, how it would hurt if you weren’t relaxed.Probably Tommy knew better than I did about all this.He sat next to me and rubbed my back in circles.Yes, he knew better
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