Bill Naughton [Alfie 01] Alfie (retail) (epub)

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.Know what – I got straight out of bed, I did, an’ put my clobber on.“What’s up with you?” she says.“I’d sooner go out an’ see a bleedin’ horror film,” I says, “than a thing like that.” It don’t half put me off, it do.’‘Alfie,’ she said, ‘can I – can I go through with it – and have the baby?’I looked at her and saw she was near tears and was begging of me as though I could give her the earth.Now at times like that it seems as if the mind in my head turns itself inside-out and I begin to see things in a new light.After all, why should she ask me for anything.I mean, she was nearly making me feel ashamed of myself.‘What are you asking me for,’ I said.‘It’s your’n, ain’t it.If you set your mind on something you go through with it.I always do.And there’s nobody in the world can stop you.’ She came into my arms and starts sobbing fit to break her heart.‘Steady on, gal,’ I said.I could feel her shaking from top to toe.Now if there’s one thing I hate, it’s a bird getting all weepy on me.I mean, what with her face all wet and hot from tears, and the feel of those wet eyelashes on your skin, and the funny sounds they make in their throats – I mean short of giving them a swipe across the kisser and telling them to belt up you’ve got to feel with them.And if I once give way to my feelings I get tears come into my eyes, straight up I do, and I get a funny swallowy lump around my adam’s apple.So if a bird hasn’t caught you one way she’s caught you another.And there she is a-sobbing against me and I know for certain she’s going to mess up the lapel of my jacket but what can you do? Anyway, I pull my jacket out and let her do it against my shirt and pat her back at the same time.Then suddenly, another thought crossed my mind.‘Here, you ain’t corning it on me, Gilda, are you – trying to swing it?’‘Swing what?’‘You know,’ I said, ‘once he’s born swing the old ’filiation order – two nicker a week until he’s sixteen.’I could see by the way she looked at me the thought had never even entered her head.‘I think you know me better than that, Alfie,’ she said.I was sorry I’d spoke.That’s my trouble.I no sooner think something than out it comes.I can’t keep anything to myself.CHAPTER FIVELittle Gilda was quite happy those months she was carrying, as they call it.(I don’t know why it is but I never like coming out with words like ‘carrying’, ‘expectant’, ‘pregnant’ or anything of that sort – seems like they’re women’s words.) At times, in fact, I thought she was a bit too cheerful.I always maintain there’s a time and place for everything, and it didn’t seem to be quite the right time for her having suddenly come into happiness.I mean if ever I slipped in on the quiet I’d be sure to hear her humming or singing to herself.And on Sunday mornings I’d let her bring me breakfast to bed; although to be quite frank I’d as soon get up, but you should never stop a woman from doing things for you since it only frustrates ’em.And she’d be all smiles as she popped the tray in front of me.Course it meant a little morning matinee afterwards, so in a way she was doing herself a good turn as well as me.I like thinking things over, and the thought struck me it must bring out some new strength in a woman when she’s like that.Otherwise how can you account for ’em going through months of sickness, swelling up until they’re right misshaped bags, coming out in varicose veins on their legs and red stretched out marks on their stomachs, and still at the end they’re hobbling about quite pleased with their little selves? Another funny thing I noticed on Gilda, she came over quite beautified, especially in the early months, both in her face and her little figure, and I told her more than once, ‘Blimey, gal, you ain’t as ugly as I thought.’I quite enjoyed my little self during that time.Here come to think of it, these geezers in the days gone by, I mean our grandads and great grandads, whilst they might have had a lot of worries on their minds about one thing and another, I mean, poverty, diseases and whatnot, there was one trouble they didn’t have – they never had to keep their eye on the calendar – know what I mean? They can say what they want about the Pill and one thing and another but one of the greatest reliefs a man can have – or a woman come to that – is to let Nature take its course.They might have had their nines and tens in families, their thirteens and fourteens or even their nineteens and twenties, with the home crowded out with loads of kids, but once they went to bed at night – or afternoon come to that – they could relax and take their pleasure as it came.You get your number one need satisfied, and I’ve found that after that the rest have a way of falling into place.Mind you I didn’t fancy being seen out with little Gilda after about the fifth month – not a woman in that condition or anything like that.Funny, but it didn’t seem to show until she was about six months gone.Little hard stomachs they’ve got when young, I suppose.Course she didn’t mind who saw her, which only goes to prove what I’ve always said, that men are more sensitive than women.And towards the end I didn’t even fancy being inside with her, if you follow me.It wasn’t that I was nervous she’d start having it when I was around – although I was nervous that she might – it was more the feeling that I’d got myself lumbered.You get a pregnant woman beside you and you don’t feel a free man any more.Right enough we weren’t married, and we had no intention of marrying – leastways one of us hadn’t – and she was going to have the kid adopted and in a month or two we’d be back where we started, or near enough, although you can never be dead sure after a thing like that; but I’d always been used to having Gilda around and more or less ignoring her except at certain times, but you can’t ignore a woman who is eight months gone.Well, not entirely; although I dare say you could after a few times [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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