Clarissa Harlowe; or the histor Samuel Richardson

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.Adieu, my dearest creature.Comfort yourself, as you would in the like unhappy circumstances comfortYour own ANNA HOWE.LETTER IIMISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY, JULY 13.I am extremely concerned, my dear Miss Howe, for being primarily the occasion of the apprehensions you have of this wicked man's vindictive attempts.What a wide-spreading error is mine!----If I find that he has set foot on any machination against you, or against Mr.Hickman, I do assure you I will consent to prosecute him, although I were sure I could not survive my first appearance at the bar he should be arraigned at.I own the justice of your mother's arguments on that subject; but must say, that I think there are circumstances in my particular case, which will excuse me, although on a slighter occasion than that you are apprehensive of I should decline to appear against him.I have said, that I may one day enter more particularly into this argument.Your messenger has now indeed seen me.I talked with him on the cheat put upon him at Hampstead: and am sorry to have reason to say, that had not the poor young man been very simple, and very self-sufficient, he had not been so grossly deluded.Mrs.Bevis has the same plea to make for herself.A good-natured, thoughtless woman; not used to converse with so vile and so specious a deceiver as him, who made his advantage of both these shallow creatures.I think I cannot be more private than where I am.I hope I am safe.All the risque I run, is in going out, and returning from morning-prayers; which I have two or three times ventured to do; once at Lincoln's-inn chapel, at eleven; once at St.Dunstan's, Fleet-street, at seven in the morning,* in a chair both times; and twice, at six in the morning, at the neighbouring church in Covent-garden.The wicked wretches I have escaped from, will not, I hope, come to church to look for me; especially at so early prayers; and I have fixed upon the privatest pew in the latter church to hide myself in; and perhaps I may lay out a little matter in an ordinary gown, by way of disguise; my face half hid by my mob.--I am very careless, my dear, of my appearance now.Neat and clean takes up the whole of my attention.* The seven-o'clock prayers at St.Dunstan's have been since discontinued.The man's name at whose house I belong, is Smith--a glove maker, as well as seller.His wife is the shop-keeper.A dealer also in stockings, ribbands, snuff, and perfumes.A matron-like woman, plain-hearted, and prudent.The husband an honest, industrious man.And they live in good understanding with each other: a proof with me that their hearts are right; for where a married couple live together upon ill terms, it is a sign, I think, that each knows something amiss of the other, either with regard to temper or morals, which if the world knew as well as themselves, it would perhaps as little like them as such people like each other.Happy the marriage, where neither man nor wife has any wilful or premeditated evil in their general conduct to reproach the other with!-- for even persons who have bad hearts will have a veneration for those who have good ones.Two neat rooms, with plain, but clean furniture, on the first floor, are mine; one they call the dining-room.There is, up another pair of stairs, a very worthy widow-lodger, Mrs.Lovick by name; who, although of low fortunes, is much respected, as Mrs.Smith assures me, by people of condition of her acquaintance, for her piety, prudence, and understanding.With her I propose to be well acquainted.I thank you, my dear, for your kind, your seasonable advice and consolation.I hope I shall have more grace given me than to despond, in the religious sense of the word: especially as I can apply to myself the comfort you give me, that neither my will, nor my inconsiderateness, has contributed to my calamity.But, nevertheless, the irreconcilableness of my relations, whom I love with an unabated reverence; my apprehensions of fresh violences, [this wicked man, I doubt, will not let me rest]; my being destitute of protection; my youth, my sex, my unacquaintedness with the world, subjecting me to insults; my reflections on the scandal I have given, added to the sense of the indignities I have received from a man, of whom I deserved not ill; all together will undoubtedly bring on the effect that cannot be undesirable to me.--The situation; and, as I presume to imagine, from principles which I hope will, in due time, and by due reflection, set me above the sense of all worldly disappointments.At present, my head is much disordered.I have not indeed enjoyed it with any degree of clearness, since the violence done to that, and to my heart too, by the wicked arts of the abandoned creatures I was cast among.I must have more conflicts.At times I find myself not subdued enough to my condition.I will welcome those conflicts as they come, as probationary ones.--But yet my father's malediction--the temporary part so strangely and so literally completed!--I cannot, however, think, when my mind is strongest--But what is the story of Isaac, and Jacob, and Esau, and of Rebekah's cheating the latter of the blessing designed for him, (in favour of Jacob,) given us for in the 27th chapter of Genesis? My father used, I remember, to enforce the doctrine deducible from it, on his children, by many arguments.At least, therefore, he must believe there is great weight in the curse he has announced; and shall I not be solicitous to get it revoked, that he may not hereafter be grieved, for my sake, that he did not revoke it?All I will at present add, are my thanks to your mother for her indulgence to us; due compliments to Mr.Hickman; and my request, that you will believe me to be, to my last hour, and beyond it, if possible, my beloved friend, and my dearer self (for what is now myself!)Your obliged and affectionate CLARISSA HARLOWE.LETTER IIIMR.LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.FRIDAY, JULY 7.I have three of thy letters at once before me to answer; in each of which thou complainest of my silence; and in one of them tallest me, that thou canst not live without I scribble to thee every day, or every other day at least.Why, then, die, Jack, if thou wilt.What heart, thinkest thou, can I have to write, when I have lost the only subject worth writing upon?Help me again to my angel, to my CLARISSA; and thou shalt have a letter from me, or writing at least part of a letter, every hour.All that the charmer of my heart shall say, that will I put down.Every motion, every air of her beloved person, every look, will I try to describe; and when she is silent, I will endeavour to tell thee her thoughts, either what they are, or what I would have them to be--so that, having her, I shall never want a subject.Having lost her, my whole soul is a blank: the whole creation round me, the elements above, beneath, and every thing I behold, (for nothing can I enjoy,) are a blank without her.Oh! return, return, thou only charmer of my soul! return to thy adoring Lovelace! What is the light, what the air, what the town, what the country, what's any thing, without thee? Light, air, joy, harmony, in my notion, are but parts of thee; and could they be all expressed in one word, that word would be CLARISSA.O my beloved CLARISSA, return thou then; once more return to bless thy LOVELACE, who now, by the loss of thee, knows the value of the jewel he has slighted; and rises every morning but to curse the sun that shines upon every body but him!***Well, but, Jack, 'tis a surprising thing to me, that the dear fugitive cannot be met with; cannot be heard of [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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