[G] Diane Adams The Making of A Place to Run

[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.Janet studied him in silence, wondering how things had come to this.She didn't know the man looking 45A Place to RunDiane Adamsout at her through her son's eyes.Her boy was gone.She walked over and handed him her phone.Grinning, Alex took it in his free hand, glancing at the screen.What he saw caused his smile to falter and then fade altogether."Nothing to say?" Janet stood over him, angry and judgmental, embarrassed by what she had learned.Alex closed the picture of him laughing up at the man and handed the phone back to her."It looks like you had plenty to say earlier.Do you care to explain?" She turned the screen of her phone back towards him.Alex looked in silence at a picture of his play with the man in the chair.He lifted his gaze to his mother's face."I was going to tell you.You weren't supposed to find out like this… I… Jared said… I'm sorry, Mom." Alex struggled for words, fear mingled with regret in his eyes."Jared said? Who is Jared to tell you anything?"Janet's eyes flashed.She was his mother; she was supposed to know him better than anyone.Things like this were not supposed to happen."That's Jared, in the picture.He's my boyfriend."As soon as the words were out of his mouth Janet moved forward and slapped Alex hard across the face.He rocked backwards, his mother's handprint bright against his 46A Place to RunDiane Adamsfair skin.Pain and shock overrode every other emotion on his face."Don't you dare say that to me! It's perverse." Her face as cold as her voice, Janet backed away from him.Ignoring her horror over hitting him, she stood her ground.Nothing mattered but making what had happened go away.He couldn't do this to her.She could not mother a gay son and he was selfish to expect it.Alex stared at her with wounded, tear-filled eyes."But, Mom, we weren't doing anything! We were playing, that's all.Just playing around.Jared wouldn't touch me in public if someone held a gun to his head."Her son's desperation made no impression on her anger.Janet focused on two words."In public? You think the fact he doesn't do disgusting things to you in public makes everything fine? What's he do to you in private?Teach you to do obscene things? Fill your head with lies about how he loves you?"The venom in her voice brought Alex to his feet.His fear and shock momentarily burned away by his anger."You can say anything you want about me.I deserve it.Jared told me to tell you and I didn't.I put it off and put it off because I was afraid," he yelled.As his words sank in, Janet faltered.Her son was 47A Place to RunDiane Adamsafraid? Sympathy welled, but determined not to give in, she shook off the moment of weakness."Afraid of what?" She stood across the room, her arms folded under her breasts, her stance angry.In desperation, Alex's eyes searched her face."Of this, I was afraid of this.I should have been brave enough to face you, but I wasn't.I'm sorry, Mom, so sorry." He took a step towards her, but Janet took one back, keeping her distance."You think that's the problem? You think if you told me first things would be different? You're dirty.Filthy, from playing boy toy for that faggot.I want it to stop."Janet knew Alex and understood how important his family was to him.She hit hard and mercilessly, sure he'd choose his family, his mother, over anything else."What?" Alex clearly struggled to make sense out of her words."You heard me, stop it.You can't play around like this.People will talk."Alex's jaw tightened.He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, a movement that didn't go unnoticed by his mother."You got that God awful tattoo for him.""It wasn't for him; you never even asked what it 48A Place to RunDiane Adamsmeans." Alex's hand stayed at the back of his neck, cupped over the symbols there."It doesn't matter what it means.It's just another symptom of a sickness that has to end now, today."Trembling, Alex refused to back down."I don't know what you mean.You want me to stop seeing Jared?That won't fix anything.This has nothing to do with him.I'm gay, Mom.Gay.""No.My son is not gay." Janet blinked rapidly, tears threatening for the first time.Horrified, Alex stepped back."What are you saying?""If you won't put an end to this, get out.If you're going to carry on like that with men, you are not my son.""Fine." Pain and bewilderment contorted his expression, and Alex headed for the door.His hand on the latch, he turned to look at her, his face awash with tears."You're always saying how much you love me.I was gay every time you said it, because I've always been gay.The only thing different is that you know now.You're the one that changed, not me.Not me." He opened the door, the rain had started.Lightning flashed and thunder rolled.Leaving the door open, Alex walked out into the storm.Janet didn't call him back.49A Place to RunDiane AdamsThe StormThe rain was cold.Not wintery, but still chilling after the ninety degree days they'd been suffering.Alex didn't notice.His mind in turmoil, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked.His phone rang, but he didn't answer.In his struggle to understand what happened, his mind replayed the scene with his mother on a continuous loop.Jared's voice a constant murmur in his ear, warning him to tell her.He should have listened.By embarrassing his mom in front of her friends, he never got a chance to try and help her understand.Now she hated him.His mother hated him.He disgusted her.It was dark, cold, and wet.Alex wanted to see Jared but the idea terrified him.He hadn't done what Jared told him to and look what'd happened.He couldn't face disappointing someone else, not right now.He could go to Clark's but there'd be a million questions [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

Pokrewne