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.As they rise to the roof in the crystal elevator they can see the helicabs descending from above, and it is no more than a few minutes until they are standing before her door.In the mirrored hall he catches one flash of his reflection: a blond man in a tuxedo, coat over his arm.Her door is open and she faces him.He would not go in among all thatleather and acrylic if she asked.She is smiling.“Don’t be hard on them.I’m a whole other kind, and it was a good evening.” You go along with them.But she is laughing and alive.“Give me a kiss and I’ll show you,”she says with a dirty snigger, “I love it!” then takes his face between her hands and kisses his mouth.“Goodnight sweetheart, I love you.” She steps back into her world, the door closes, its panel is blank.He stands there with her kiss on his lips, in that moment, he findshimself burning with a feeling, a passion not for her but for fulfillment and a being who would truly share it with him.No one has ever touched hm like this, a real touch in which he feels whole-bodied among the aliens.It’s a fearful feeling too, the threatening hope of love.He cannot afford it.He backs off, waves away the helicab.It cannot take him where he isgoing.Her money will fall silently into his account, as it fell into the cabman’s.He finds the elevator and descends, descends, trying not to think of this as symbolic, because he will sink into self-pity.There are many deep levels, but he comes out at his own, even with thestreet.He has nearly an hour’s walk through the arcades of shops,restaurants, little gardens that keep the cool air moist and fresh.Hepasses a holovue theater featuring something called “A Thorbian Lover,”advertised in a fountain of lights promising “Dangerous Satisfactions,”without pausing or turning aside, walking in the shadow with his coatbuttoned to the neck and his hat pulled down.People are coming out of the theater and he keeps neatly ahead of them.There are more theaters and restaurants, bars and sex shops, a little park with a lot of hands-onlovers, then an open market selling star-fruit, marijuana plants and dried jimsonweed.Beside it there is a Beggars’ Square, an arrangement of painted squareswith a tree planted in the center, and by city ordinance the beggars must keep inside the squares and not harass the shoppers.Rain keeps coins to give the beggars, it is a kind of rent he pays the world, but coins cannot liven their dead eyes, and he always hurries away after tossing a few into their cups and bowls.“Mister! Mister!” they call and wave, and he stands undecided with his hand in his pocket.One beggar catches his attention.He is moving, but not like the otherswho gesture; he is shimmering.This beggar’s eyes are not dead butfeverish, and as they rest on Rain his body shifts and flows to becomeRain, a blond man in a black coat.It seems to Rain that he has poisoned himself with weed or alcohol, toxic for Thorbians.The fever heat is coming off his body.He lifts his hands in imitation of Rain’s surprise.“No, no!” Rain whispers, pulls the handful of silver from his pocket, flings it into the bowl and backs away.Three young loungers in silk and leather have begun to tease the beggars.Now they glance aside and find this one.He looks up at them hopefully and in turn—rippling and wavering into cloudy and then distinct form—becomes the girl in leather with the blond flat-top, the teenager with slick hair in the silk suit, the man in his twenties with the blue velvet suit and beard dyed to match.As if poison has given him the energy to do endless whole-body modelling without having to think or plan.“Look at this one!” Bluebeard says.“Let’s see!” He kicks the bowl and sets it spinning, flinging arcs of silver.The other beggars freeze, Rain feels himself shrinking in his clothes and takes an involuntary step back.The Thorbian’s impetus halts.He stops in half-gesture with his hands out and his face gone featureless and slacklike the canvas face of the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.The three of them guffaw and kick at him.“What’re you gonna be now, blobbo?” The other beggars have scuttled off their squares and run out of the park, no one is left but the four.The Thorbian shimmers, trying to pull away, trying to find a form that will let him.“Who! Who!” they yell.“Please!” he cries weakly, “My name, I am Frost.” Water begins to seep from his skin, he cannot do more than wave his arms.“Frost! I think yer melting, Frost! Look, he’s peeing!”Rain recognizes the shrinking-from-danger syndrome that he had spent somuch time learning to control in his own youth.“Look at that! That’s disgusting!” They aim more kicks.Rain wants nothing but to run away and finds himself leaping forwardscreaming “Stop that! Damn you bastards, stop!”They turn on him.“What’ve we got? This’s another one!”Rain can smell them now, they are so close, he is terrified but he cannot stop.He flicks off his hat and crouches screaming, or roaring, his head and neck push thickly out of his collar, his shirt opens, the tie snaps and falls away, his arms reach out of his sleeves, they are fanged andfurred, tawny, spotted and savage.He is sinuous in his long and awkward coat, his claws splay out—The three tormentors freeze.The girl swallows, licks her lips and says, “Aw, that’s nothin’! That isn’t real, its just one of his shapes.”Rain roars and takes a step forward, and she backs away [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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