An Ornament to His Profession Charles L. Harness

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.”Fast looked at him in surprise.“Coming from you, Con, that’s a very strange question.”“How is that?”“I accept aid from any source, because I am totally committed.But so are you, and therefore, you, too, will accept assistance without asking the cost, or to whom the payment will be made.”Patrick felt a flurry of confusion.“And to what am I totally committed?”“To your patents.Did you not know?”Patrick had to think about this.Finally, he shook his head, not in denial, but to admit incomprehension.“Well,” he defended, “it’s my job.”Fast’s mouth, immobile and cryptic as the Mona Lisa’s, seemed almost to smile.“Yes, but only because you have contracted for it.So you see, what I have done is not a particularly strange thing.You… everyone… has entered into his own private contract, with something.My only difference is that I have put mine in writing.This does not necessarily mean that I am more honest than you.Perhaps I am merely more perceptive.“True, my deal is with the Devil.But is that immoral? Morality is relative.My action, my way of life, has to be evaluated against the background of your action, and your way of life.You think me immoral, if not insane.Yet you wrote this contract for me.Why? Because you want to keep me happy.And why do you want to keep me happy? So that I’ll keep your patents coming.Therefore you’ve made your own contract— with your patents.You resolve all questions of sin, virtue, and morality in light of the effect on our patents.With you, nothing can be sinful— even an assignment to hell— if it helps your terpineol patents.Before you judge my contract, take a look at your own.”Patrick stared at the gray man.Finally he smiled uneasily.“Whatever you say, John.”“And now I’ll do you a favor, Con.Change the name.”“Change what name?”“Neol.It’s wrong.”“What’s wrong with it?”“The sound; wrong altogether.If you should ever have to… call… anyone with it, you wouldn’t do it.Also, you ought to have five letters, exactly, one letter for each point of the pentagram.Correct symbology is essential.”“Whom would I be calling?” said Patrick.“And why?”“You know… for your patents.”Patrick looked blank, then frowned, then finally he smiled.“All right, John.Whether or not you’re a mystic, I’ll give you ‘x-plus,’ for mystification.”After Fast had gone, Patrick and Sullivan stared at each other.“Do you believe any of that?” said Patrick.“I believe he thinks he saw something.A kind of self-hypnosis.”How about the yield? You know one hundred per cent of theory is impossible.”“No, Con, I don’t know that.And neither do you.Within experimental errors, he may well have got one hundred per cent.And even if he didn’t, he really might have got fairly close to it.A pilot plant always does much better than a bench-scale unit.You just naturally expect the yield to be high.All the variables are optimized, easily controlled.”“So you think he just hypnotized himself into seeing the Devil?”“Why not? Actually, he’s an accomplished amateur hypnotist.I’m told he is quite a parlor performer, if you can catch him.”“I know.He’ll be at the party tonight, for something like that.But he’s wrong about me.I’m not totally committed to my patents.It’s my job, the same as it’s your job.John Fast doesn’t know what he’s saying.”Sullivan’s eyes twinkled wickedly.“You’re absolutely right, Con.There are some things you would not resort to, even to save the Neol patent position.You would not sell your own grandmother into white slavery even if it would win the interference and solve the whole problem.” He paused, then added maliciously, “Would you, Con?”Patrick snorted.“Don’t tempt me!”“Are you going to change the name?” asked Sullivan.“‘Neol’?”“You know what I mean.”“Well, maybe.There’s nothing really wrong with ‘Neol’.”“Except that John Fast thinks it’s wrong.”“…Without saying how to make it right,” added Patrick.“I want to think about it.And I might change it, just to be ornery.”That which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet.— ShakespearePatrick sat in his office, looking at the proofs of the “Neol Technical Manual,” and thinking hard.This was Harvey Jayne’s Manual, and Jayne was trying to steal Miss Willow.But Jayne needed Patent Department clearance for his Manual.Right away, this suggested possibilities.This morning, he had it nearly figured [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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