By A Thread L.A. Witt

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.While he's out of sight, I reach back andgingerly feel my skin.It's hot to the touch, and thatslight contact burns.He's probably right; it'llblister.Second degree, then.I check the back ofmy neck.It's not so bad there, and I suppose there'ssome cold comfort in the fact that he didn't singemy hair.Not so much because of any vanity issues,but I'd just as soon not have to explain to co-workers why I've suddenly gone for an extra shorthaircut at the same time I'm unable to sit against theback of a chair.At least this way, I can play it offas a sore back.No one has to know it's a burninstead of muscle pain.Andrew returns a moment later with a tube ofaloe in hand."Good thing you had some layingaround," he says with a half-hearted laugh."Yeah, well," I say, chuckling, "when you're asclumsy in the kitchen as I am.""I don't know.Seemed like you had everythingunder control in there earlier.""I usually do.But once in a while, I getdistracted, and." I nod toward the tube in hishand.He laughs again with even less enthusiasm, andthen sits beside me, cradling the tube of aloeointment in his lap.His hands are shaking again--still?--and when he speaks, his words are just asunsteady: "God, Leon, I could have killed you."I reach for his face, but he flinches, drawingback like a scared animal."Andrew," I say softly, "it wasn't intentional.""No, but it was dangerous.""And we knew it would be."He licks his lips."It was fire this time," hewhispers."What if it had been lightning? Thatcould have." He shudders, and when he meets myeyes, there's an extra shine in his."That could havestopped your heart, Leon.""I know." I gently close my hands around his."I knew that was a risk when you came overtonight.""Maybe we should have taken that risk moreseriously." His voice is heavy with resignation."There's a reason people warn non-magics fromfooling around with sorcerers, and this is thatreason."I don't know how to respond.He's right, ofcourse.Sex is amazing, and now I'm certain itwould be mind-blowing with him, but at whatcost?Andrew clears his throat."I should.Let me."His gaze drops to the aloe in his hands, as if he'dforgotten he had it."Let me put this stuff on."The cap clicks.The ointment is cool, and itburns at the same time.Clenching my jaw, I pull ina sharp breath.Andrew's hand stops."You okay?"I nod.Through gritted teeth, I say, "It's justcold." That's not entirely true.It's cold, but itfucking stings, too.His hand resumes its slow,circular motions.His skin is soft, and the aloelubricates it, but he may as well be runningsandpaper over my raw flesh.I don't want him toknow that, though, so I grit my teeth and try not toflinch away from his touch.This is going to hurtlike hell in the morning.No two ways about it.He stops again, and this time his hand leavesmy skin."That should be enough," he says, andcaps the aloe bottle.He sets it on my nightstand,and then sits on the side of the bed but doesn't lookat me.I don't know what to say.I'm rattled--whowouldn't be?--but I don't want to give up on this.At the same time, guilt knots in the pit of mystomach.My back will heal, but Andrew must beshaken right to the core, and why? Because we justhad to do this.We just had to fool around to thepoint we lost control.He lost control.And we bothknew it was a possibility.He's no doubt blaminghimself, but it's just as much my fault.I knew andhe knew that we were quite literally playing withfire, and when you play with fire, sometimes youget burned.Silently, without looking at each other, we getup and reach for our clothes.My back smarts everytime I move, the skin stinging when I stretch it bysimply bending to pick up my shirt off the floor.Getting my shorts and pants back on isn't too bad,but putting on my shirt is seriously uncomfortable.Before I even get it over my head, the intense painmakes me pull in a hiss of breath through my teeth."Sorry," Andrew murmurs."It's okay." I take off my shirt and drop it on thebed."We'll just take it slower the next--""No," he says sharply."There can't be a nexttime."My heart sinks."Andrew, we--""No.No way." He shakes his head."I can't dothis.I'm sorry, Leon.It's just too risky."My heart beats faster, panic surging through myveins."So, what do you want to do?""I." He bites his lip.With a shaking hand, hebrushes some hair out of his face, and my fingerscurl at my sides with the nearly irresistible urge torun through his unruly hair."Andrew?" I whisper.He takes a breath and looks me in the eye."Idon't want to stop seeing you, I just think we needto rein it back to." He pauses, dropping his gaze."Something safer.""So something platonic?" Relief tangles withfrustration in my gut.I want him, and even theintense burning across my back hasn't tempered themaddening itch for him, but thank God he's notwalking out the door.Andrew nods."Yeah.Are you.are you okaywith that?""Of course I am." I reach for him, hesitatingwhen he flinches, but then he relaxes and lets mewrap my arms around him."I'm sorry about this," he whispers.He slideshis hands up my arms, but doesn't reach around tomy burned back."I want you so bad, Leon, butthis.""I know." I kiss the top of his head."But evenif sex is off the table, I'm not going anywhere."Andrew says nothing.He just holds on.So do I.Chapter 5I can't believe it's already June.The last daysof spring burned like late summer, and May--hottest May on record--flew by, and the beginningof June crept right up out of nowhere.It's been two months since we've touched inany sexual way.The burns on my back havehealed.Now that the blisters aren't there to remindme what happens when we get carried away, it'seasy to forget why we're keeping each other atarm's length.Easy for me, anyway.Andrew doesn't let hisguard down.Not even once.Even when weexchange a look, he always has that wall up.Thatreluctant, chilly divider.The frustration is there inhis eyes, but he doesn't cross any lines, and I don'ttry to cross them myself.No sense pushing him andmaking this worse, or turning it into a source ofarguing and teeth-gnashing.But what the hell do we do about it? If there'sanything more frustrating than wanting someonewho doesn't want you back, it's wanting someonewho feels the same way, but not being able totouch.Like a long distance relationship, exceptwe're together almost every day.Whenever we canbe, we're together, and I love his company as muchas I hate this frustrating physical distance.Weekafter week, I want him more and more, and thatemotional connection just keeps getting deeper asthe need for his touch keeps threatening to driveme insane.I'm getting closer to him and fartherfrom him at the same time [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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