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.All his clothes.Mercy Flora very kindly gave them to me.For the Romanian orphans.Flora His bee-keeping suit is still there.In the garage.It is a constant reminder.Mercy I could have taken it but Jean who runs the shop was worried there wouldn’t be much call.Felix I come home – and there is just an absence.Flora Don’t question what I do, Felix.You weren’t here.Felix I’m trying to find the right words.Flora Oh yes, Felix, you carry on.That is what this day has been lacking.Yes.There we all were, waiting in the church for you to find just the right words.Waiting for my clever son, my golden boy, the Cambridge don, to deliver his father’s oration.Felix I’m not a don.Flora There we all were, thinking he will make this bloody bloody awful thing … better – oh, we will cry but we will be uplifted.But instead you, let me find the exact word now, you absconded.Felix I’m not well.Flora Buggered off.Felix I have p–pills.Flora And so it falls to an amateur entomologist, an insect man, not even a close friend, a passing acquaintance of your father’s, to find the right words.The bon mot.Mercy He did very well, considering.Flora He did not do well, Mercy.He compared my husband’s career to the life cycle of an aphid.Mercy I liked the bit about you spinning a web around him.Flora Oh yes, there was no end to his metaphorical prowess.Men who spend their waking hours studying the mating rituals of arachnids should not be allowed out.Felix They’re his friends.Flora They were his friends.Friends of the late James Humble.A group of tedious entomologists.No, no, let me adhere to the linguistic rules that have been imposed on us today.A boredom of entomologists.A woeful irritation of insect men.Open up their collective thorax and you will not find a beating heart among them.Mercy Shall I go and make some more sandwiches? I thought the beef paste was going down rather well.Felix I haven’t b–b–been well.Flora Your father is dead, Felix.Your being unwell barely registers on the Richter scale.Felix I tried to sp–speak – to sum his life up –Flora We are every one of us unwell.Do not deceive yourself that you hold the monopoly.Mercy’s not well.She hasn’t been right in years.Mercy Well, a little arthritis in my back –Flora And I am recovering from major surgery.Mercy Oh, she is.Felix (quietly) P–plastic.Flora What did you say?Felix A nose job is not major surgery.Mercy Oh, but her face was black and blue.You should have seen it.Even now if you look under those glasses – ah, the bruising, she looks terrible –Flora Shut up, Mercy.Mercy I only meant –Flora Did you not have a more suitable pair of shoes?Mercy What?Flora I’ve told you about wearing brown and black together.Felix You’re not wearing b–black.Flora Black is too draining.Anyway this is Jean Muir.And I have to say I find it rich, yes, ripe that I am being criticised on my choice of – look at you! Did you seriously think that this was appropriate attire for your father’s funeral? You don’t even play – you were a horror when it came to ball games.In fact I don’t recognise you.Look at yourself.You’ve grown fat and unkempt.How could you do this?Mercy Should I pop home and change them?Flora Oh please go in, Mercy.See to the insect men.Wreak havoc with some potted shrimp, for Christ’s sake.Mercy Right.Yes.Good idea.You’ll be all right?Flora Oh yes, yes.My husband is dead and my only son, who has grown fat and strange, has just run away from his own father’s funeral.I’ll be fine.Fine.At least those bastard bees are gone.A moment, then Mercy leaves apologetically.Mercy Yes.Yes.Sorry, Flora.Felix and Flora stand there.Felix B–b–blessed are the p–p–peacemakers.Flora For they shall irritate the hell out of you … I saved up a long time for that operation.Felix I know.Flora Your father wanted me to – (carefully) he didn’t not want me to – he knew what it meant to me.Felix Yes.Flora I didn’t even know he was in the garden.I was upstairs, resting, when he collapsed.I couldn’t hear – the bandages covered my ears, muffled the sound.But I knew.I was reading Vogue and suddenly it dropped from my hands.Just fell to the floor.But there was nothing – he was dead in an instant, you know, his heart –Felix Yes.Flora I couldn’t bear to have his things.I couldn’t bear –Felix It doesn’t matter.Flora Perhaps I should have kept – for you – but really, you haven’t been here in such a long time –Felix Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.Flora (sharply) What?Felix B–black holes.They’re not observable.Well, without very sophisticated microlensing techniques they’re not.Pause.Flora is wrong-footed.Flora Don’t try and blind me with science, Felix.Felix I’m not.Flora You made me look like a fool in that church.This is not something that I will be able to forgive, Felix.Felix No.Flora This is not something that I will be able to forget.Felix No.She turns to go, turns back.Flora What pills are you taking?Felix It’s nothing.Nothing.For nerves.Just to help me sleep.Flora I always know when you are ill.Felix Yes.Flora Well, you’re too old now for me to … Are you going back today?Felix I don’t know yet.She looks at Felix intently.The gardener Jim walks into the garden.He is in his sixties, thoughtful and quiet, even absent-minded, with a gentle sense of humour.Felix stares at him, Flora does not look at him.He carries a hoe and a bucket of ashes and tea leaves.He scatters the ashes under the rose bush, spreads them.Flora looks away, around the garden.Flora It’s such a beautiful day.Shame.She walks back into the house, giving the hive a wide berth.Jim glances at her as she leaves.Felix continues to look at Jim.Jim notices him watching.Jim I know, I know.I thought twice about coming today.But what with this hot weather, it all needs doing and your mother can’t bear it getting out of hand, can she?Felix No, she can’t.Jim (looking at the roses) This has definitely come out of itself today … (He dead-heads the bush.) I like the floribundas but Mrs Humble is fond of the hybrids.They smell sweeter of course.That always swings it for her.I’d go for more variety but she only wants the scented flowers.And I do as I’m told.Felix Yes.Jim This one’s a hybrid tea, Rosa ‘Josephine Bruce’.Don’t know who she was, Josephine, but she’s got quite a jolly flower named after her.Beautiful dark crimson, lovely scent – and so easy.Positively rampant.Makes me think Miss Bruce must have been a bit of a goer in her day.Felix She might not be dead.Josephine B–b–b–Jim No, you’re right, she could still be at it.But often they are, aren’t they? Dead, I mean.And this is a nice way of carrying them on.For their family.Felix Yes.Jim You’d be surprised how many are named after the strangest people.There’s a pink climber called Bobby Charlton.Not that he’s dead.Or is he? Anyway, it’s a real blowsy thing, I always wondered if he had a hand in choosing it for himself.I rather hope he did … Sorry, listen to me, I’m not thinking.Are you all right, lad?Felix The b–b–bees are gone.Jim I know, it’s a sad day.Very sad.A hive without its bees.It says it all, doesn’t it?Felix I saw it.There were four of them.An apocalpse.In all their regalia.White with their veils on, carrying their boxes and the – you know – (He searches for the word.)Jim Smokers?Felix Yes.Jim To pacify the bees, I know.Felix It was strange
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