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Chelsea Handler Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang (epub
Brit Brinson [Dia of the Dead Dia of the Dead (epub)
Cody Goodfellow [Radiant Dawn Radiant Dawn (epub)
Cate Tiernan [Immortal Belove Immortal Beloved (epub)
C J Busby [Deep Amber 01] Deep Amber (retail) (epub)
Carl Ashmore [Time Hunters 01 The Time Hunters (epub)
Drew Hayes [Super Powereds 02 Super Powereds Year 2 (epub) i
Beth Harbison [Shoe Addict 02 Secrets of a Shoe Addict (epub)
Cara Lynn Shultz [Dark World The Dark World (retail) (epub)
CONAN 47 Conan i szalony Bog Robert E. Howard

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.Developing in a natural way it would long have waited for the end of its earthly history.You are leading it to the kingdom of eternal truth several thousand years sooner—and in this lies your great service.You incarnate in yourselves the blessing with which God has honoured mankind.”“But what is the object of eternal life?” Kovrin asked.“The same as of all life—enjoyment.True enjoyment is knowledge, and eternal life offers numberless and inexhaustible sources of knowledge; this is the meaning of: ‘in my Father’s House are many mansions.’”“If you only knew how pleasant it is to listen to you,” Kovrin said, rubbing his hands with satisfaction.“I’m very pleased.”“But I know that when you go away I will be troubled about your reality.You are a vision, a hallucination.Consequently I am physically ill, I am not normal.”“And what of that! Why are you troubled? You are ill because you have worked beyond your strength and you are exhausted, which means that you have sacrificed your health to an idea, and the time is near when you will sacrifice your life to it too.What could be better? It is the object to which all noble natures, gifted from above, constantly aspire.”“If I know that I am mentally diseased, can I believe in myself?”“How do you know that the men of genius, who are believed in by the whole world, have not also seen visions? Scholars say now that genius is allied to insanity.My friend, only the ordinary people—the herd—are quite well and normal.All this consideration about the nervous century, overwork, degeneration, etc., can only seriously alarm those whose object in life is the present—that is the people of the herd.”“The Romans said: ‘mens sana in corpore sano.’”“Not all that the Romans and Greeks said is true.Overstrain, excitement, ecstasy, all that distinguishes the prophets, the poets, the martyrs for ideas, from ordinary people, is opposed to the animal side of man’s nature, that is, to his physical health.I repeat, if you wish to be healthy and normal go to the herd.”“It is strange, you say what often comes into my mind,” Kovrin said.“You appear to have looked into my soul and listened to my most secret thoughts.But let us not speak of me.What do you mean by the eternal truth?”The monk did not reply.Kovrin glanced at him and could not distinguish his face.The features became misty and melted away.The monk’s head and hands gradually disappeared, his body seemed to be blended with the bench and with the evening twilight and then he vanished entirely.“The hallucination is over,” Kovrin said, and he laughed.“What a pity!”He returned towards the house gay and happy.What little the black monk had said to him flattered not only his self-love, but his whole soul, his whole being.To be one of the chosen, to serve the eternal truth, to stand in the ranks of those who will render mankind worthy of the Kingdom of God a few thousand years sooner than it would otherwise have been, that is, will save mankind from an extra thousand years of struggle, sin and suffering, to sacrifice everything—youth, strength, health, to the idea—to be ready to die for the general good—what a high, what a happy fate! His clean, chaste life, so full of work, passed through his memory; he remembered what he himself had learned, what he had taught others, and he arrived at the conclusion that there was no exaggeration in the words the monk had spoken.Tania came to meet him through the park.She was dressed in another frock.“Here you are at last!” she said.“We are looking for you everywhere.But what has happened to you?” she said with astonishment, gazing at his enraptured, beaming countenance and his eyes that were brimming over with tears.“How strange you look, Andryusha.”“I am satisfied, Tania,” Kovrin said, putting his hands on her shoulders.“I am more than satisfied, I am happy! Tania, dear Tania, you are a most congenial creature! Dear Tania, I am so glad, so glad!”He kissed both her hands passionately and continued:“I have just passed through bright, beautiful, unearthly moments.But I cannot tell you all because you would call me mad, or you would not believe me.Let us talk of you.Dear, charming Tania! I love you, and I have become used to love you.Your nearness, our meetings, ten times daily have become a necessity for my soul.I don’t know how I shall be able to exist without you, when I go home.”Well!” and Tania laughed, “you will forget us in two days.We are little people, and you are a great man.”“No, let us talk seriously,” he said.“I will take you with me.Yes? Won’t you come with me? You want to be mine?”“Well, well!” Tania said and again she wanted to laugh, but laughter would not come, and red spots came out on her face.She began to breathe fast, and she walked on very quickly, not towards the house, but deeper into the park.“I never thought of this.never!” she said, clasping her hands as if in despair.Kovrin followed her and continued to speak with the same brilliant, excited face.“I want love that would conquer me entirely, and that love, Tania, you alone can give me.I am happy, happy!”She was stupefied, she bent, she shrivelled, she seemed suddenly to grow ten years older, and he thought her beautiful and he expressed his thoughts aloud:“How beautiful she is!”CHAPTER VIThe Black GuestWHEN EGOR SEMENYCH heard from Kovrin that the romance had not only begun, but that there was to be a wedding, he walked about the rooms for a long time trying to hide his agitation.His hands began to tremble, his neck seemed to grow thicker and became purple; he ordered his racing droshky2 to be put to and drove off somewhere.Tania, seeing how he whipped the horse and how low down, almost over his ears, he had pressed his cap, understood his mood, shut herself up in her room and cried all day.The peaches and plums were already ripening in the hot-houses; the packing and sending off to Moscow of these delicate and tender goods required much attention, trouble and work.Owing to the summer having been very hot and dry, it was necessary to water every tree; this took up much time and labour; besides multitudes of caterpillars appeared on the trees, which the work-people, as well as Egor Semenych and Tania, crushed with their fingers, to Kovrin’s great disgust.Besides all this work it was necessary to accept orders for fruit and trees for the autumn deliveries, and to carry on a large correspondence.While at the busiest time, when it seemed that nobody had a moment to spare, the season for field work came on and took away more than half the hands from the garden.Egor Semenych, very much sunburnt, exhausted and irritated, rushed about now in the gardens, now in the fields, crying that he was torn to pieces, and that he would send a bullet through his head.There was also all the bustle caused by the preparation of the trousseau, on which the Pesotskis set great store; everybody in the house was made quite dizzy by the click of scissors, the noise of sewing machines, the fumes of hot irons and the caprices of the milliner, a nervous lady, who was easily offended.And, as if on purpose, every day saw the arrival of guests, who had to be entertained and fed, and who often even stayed the night [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]