Carrie Cox [Broken 02] Fragments (epub)

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.I adjusted the back of the chair so I was looking up, directly at the sky.Jack set up the other chair and pulled it close to me.Once he was sitting down and we were both gazing up at the stars, he began pointing out and naming the constellations.I’d never had any idea what the constellations were.I had tried to figure some out in the past, but every time I tried, the constellations all seemed to merge together.I found it impossible to recognize the distinct shapes.The only one I’d ever been able to recognize was Orion.But it didn’t matter to me.It was the vastness of the stars – the infinity – that gave me comfort.In my darkest moments, it helped me to remember that no matter how bad my day had been, the sun would still set and the stars would always be there.I leaned back as Jack pointed out and traced the outline of another constellation.I wasn’t focused enough to spot the stars he pointed out, but I didn’t care.His deep voice was soothing, and I felt myself relax.When he raised his arm again and pointed out yet another group of stars, my eyes focused on his forearm and wrist.I couldn’t see any scars, but maybe that was because it was too dark.I’d been with him every day for weeks.I’d seen him naked for chrissake.If there were any scars, I would have seen them.I mean, the things he’d been doing to my body at the time had me a little distracted, but surely I would have noticed if he had scars or not.I was so intent on staring at his arms, I wasn’t expecting what he said next.“Why did you leave me?”He wasn’t looking at me.He was still staring up at the sky.He didn’t sound angry, but I detected a note of sadness in his voice that made my eyes prickle with tears.My voice sounded cool, calm and distant as I told him how Joanna had confronted me in the ladies’ restroom and decided to tell me the real reason I’d been employed.Jack turned in his seat to stare at me.I took a shaky breath.“She told me I’d been employed here because… you tried to commit suicide, and Alexander wanted me here to make sure it never happened again.Why did no one tell me?”Jack looked furious.“She’s exaggerating,” he said.“I just drank too much whiskey on top of a few painkillers.It was an accident.I didn’t try to kill myself.”I let his words sink in.Was that the whole story? Had Joanna really lied about the reason Alexander had employed me, or did Alexander not believe that Jack’s overdose had been a mistake?I swung myself around in the lounger, planting my feet on the floor and looked at him, trying to read his face.He scowled.“You should have come to me and told me what she said.She’s poisonous.”I nodded slowly.I had to believe him.God, I wanted to.“I shouldn’t have listened to her,” I said.“She’s just jealous.”Jack gave a bitter laugh.“Jealous? Why the hell would she be jealous? She’s getting married to someone else.She dumped me as fast as she could after the accident.”I shrugged.“She’s seen that you are starting to get better.Maybe she thinks she’s made a mistake.”Anger flashed over his face so fast it made me wonder if he wasn’t completely over her.“I was the one who made a mistake.” He practically growled the words.“I should have gotten rid of her a long time ago.”He was silent for a moment as if he was mulling things over, and I racked my brain to think of something I could say to reassure him.Right then, my reason for leaving must have seemed terrible to him.I knew it sounded like I found out he tried to commit suicide and abandoned him when he needed me the most.I wasn’t that shallow or callous.More than anything, I wanted to help him.How could I explain that I had left because I knew I wasn’t up to the task? I would have been responsible if anything had happened to him, and I wouldn’t have been able to cope with that.I was literally the worst person in the world for the job.Hell, I couldn’t even manage to live my own life without screwing it up, so how was I supposed to help Jack when one misstep on my part could cause irrevocable damage?“I know it sounds bad,” I said.“It must seem like I left you when you needed me most.”He shrugged.“You don’t owe me anything.It’s just a job.”His words hurt.“You don’t understand.I was worried I was going to screw things up.I was terrified that if something happened to you, it would be my fault.”He got to his feet and held out his hand to me.“I’ve told you before,” he said.“I’m not that delicate.I don’t want you tiptoeing around me.You can’t hold yourself responsible for other people’s actions, Kristina.”I took his outstretched hand.It felt so warm.Tingles shot up my arm and flooded my body.How did he do that with one touch?“Did I ever tell you about the telescope?”“Telescope?” I shook my head as I stood up.He turned back to the house and nodded in the direction of the upstairs windows.“It’s up there.” His eyes took on a mischievous glint.“Come with me.”2The house was quiet as I followed Jack inside.He held my hand as we walked up the stairs.Every few steps, he turned back to me and grinned.I was starting to feel a little nervous.He obviously had something planned.After following Jack along a dark corridor, we stopped by a door I’d never noticed before.The key was in the lock.Jack opened the door, revealing a dark, narrow wooden, staircase.We stepped inside, and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.Jack kept his hand firmly wrapped around mine, and he led me up the stairs.The old wood creaked beneath our feet as we climbed upwards.When we finally reached the top of the stairs, I turned in a slow circle, taking in my surroundings.We were in a circular room with a wooden floor and a low ceiling.The room was empty of furniture except for an old sofa which sat next to a large old-fashioned telescope.“It was my father’s,” Jack said.“It was something we had in common.He taught me all the constellations, and I used to love the days when he came back from his business trips, and we would spend the evenings staring at the stars.”I smiled.Jack and Alexander didn’t talk much about their family, and so it was nice to hear his memories about his father.Jack gave a twisted smile.“That was pretty much all we had in common.”“You weren’t close to your father?”Jack shrugged as he let go of my hand and started to adjust the position of the telescope.“I’m not sure I was really what he hoped for in a son.”Jack moved to the wall and started turning a handle that I hadn’t noticed before [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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