An excess of enchantments Craig Shaw Gardner

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.What can we do?”“Perhaps a cheerful song might help,” Hubert suggested.“Then again,” Snarks interrupted, “perhaps it might not.”“Begin!” Guxx instructed Brax, who was still holding the drum.Brax beat as Guxx declaimed:“Guxx Unfufadoo, noble demon, Will put an end to Netherhells traitors; Will help the ‘prentice defeat Mother—“He glanced at the dragon before continuing: “Will put a stop to poetry forever!”The demon smiled, satisfied he had made his case.“And I have exactly the right used weapons to do the job!” Brax added.“Is it time for Brownie Power?” Tap asked.“Indeed,” I replied.“It is time for Brownie Power, and Demon Power, and Damsel and Dragon Power as well.Our strength is in our diversity.We all saw how Mother Duck became a bit undone by the surprise of Hubert and Alea’s song.Imagine how shocked she would be if we all used our abilities at the same time?”“Oh, Wuntie!” Alea exclaimed, rushing over to give me a powerful hug.Her silken blue dress rubbed against my rough shirt, her long blond tresses fell in my face.“How brilliant!” She stepped away to look at me candidly.“I’ve always wanted to date a genius.”I cleared my throat and looked at the others.Why did the temperature always rise whenever Alea was near?“Um—er—very well,” I continued.“While we still have time, I will quickly outline the plan.” I glanced about to make sure I had everyone’s attention.“Now we begin with—uh—we begin—“ I was having trouble forming the words.Sweat trickled down my brow.“We—“ I tried again.“—Once upon a time.”Alea frowned.“What was that, Wuntie?”“Oh, no!” Hubert shouted.“I think he’s been—he’s been—once upon a time.”“You people are making less sense than usual!” Snarks complained.“What’s all this—once upon a time?”“No! It’s time for Brownie—“ Tap faltered.Both he and Alea said the four words together.“Once upon a time,” Guxx Unfufadoo chimed in.“Once upon a time.”And Brax beat along on his drum.FOUR“Here we go again.”Words (which many were surprised were not posthumous) spoken by Ebenezum after he had managed to elude both King Snerdlot the Vengeful and the monarch’s elite assassin guard by cleverly using the maze of secret passageways in Snerdlot’s castle, only to open a door to discover he was once again in the bedchamber of Queen Vivazia.The queen was, of course, overjoyed to see him still alive, not to mention quite hot and sweaty from his recent pursuit, and therefore crossed the room in record time to give the wizard a comradely embrace.Ebenezum ceased his struggle a moment later, for, upon reflection, the wizard realized there were certain things from which there was truly no escape.Once upon a time there was a traveler named Wuntvor, who happened upon a little man in the woods.“Are you a fairy?” Wuntvor asked the little man.But the little fellow made a face.“Not this time, thank my lucky shoes.No, good sir, I am genuine Brownie, and furthermore, sir, it is your lucky day.”“My lucky day?” Wuntvor said, taken quite by surprise.“Yes, you’re the only other person in this fairy—uh—“ The little fellow stopped himself.“—Brownie tale, so I guess it has to be you.It is your lucky day.”The Brownie stood there, waiting expectantly.“Thank you,” Wuntvor said at last, not knowing what was expected of him.“Aren’t you going to ask why?” the Brownie demanded, tapping his tiny foot.“Why?” Wuntvor obliged.“Yes,” the Brownie agreed.“Why is it your lucky day! Oh, I guess you did ask.Pardon me.My mistake.Performance nerves, I guess.Well, it is your lucky day because you are to be granted seven wishes.”“Seven wishes?” Wuntvor asked.The Brownie nodded.“I thought the usual was three,” the lad stated.The Brownie nodded.“Then why seven?” Wuntvor inquired.“We’re running a special!” the Brownie exclaimed.“Oh,” Wuntvor replied.“Well, aren’t you surprised? Aren’t you excited?”“I guess so,” Wuntvor responded, not really sure of anything.He had the nagging feeling that he had been here, or a place very much like here, sometime before.What was that? Somewhere, in the distance, Wuntvor heard voices arguing.An elderly woman was complaining about how no one understood artists.“Once upon a time,” Wuntvor said.He blinked1.“Seven wishes? You’re really going to give me seven wishes?” He looked down at the little man in wonder.“That’s more like it,” the Brownie replied.“I mean we wee folk expect some enthusiasm for our efforts, you know? That’s right, seven wishes for anything you want!”Anything he wanted? The lad was quite impressed with this opportunity, although he was the slightest bit scared as well.Seven wishes were a mighty responsibility, and Wuntvor knew all the old stories about farmers and fishermen receiving wishes and squandering them on puddings and the like.He would have to think about this, for he was a young man, abroad to seek his fortune, and this seven wishes thing might be just the chance he was looking for.But, even though he had more than the usual three, Wuntvor knew he would have to use every wish wisely.“Well,” the Brownie said, foot once again tapping.“I’m waiting.”‘ ‘Uh—“ Wuntvor replied in surprise.’ ‘I have to start wishing now?”“Hey, give me a break.You’ve got seven wishes, here.We Brownies have things to do.Time is shoes, you know!”Oh, well, Wuntvor thought.Why not? He had to start this wish business some time.He’d have to make the first one a good one.“Indeed,” he began, for that word seemed to help him to think.“I—um—wish I had a stout weapon to protect me from danger.”“Granted!” the Brownie exclaimed.There was a muffled sound from the direction of his belt, like someone hollering behind a closed door.“Eh?” Wuntvor said, or a sound very much like that.He looked down, and noticed that there was a sword and scabbard hanging from his belt.The lad grabbed the hilt of the weapon and pulled it free.“It’s about time you let me back out!” the sword exclaimed.“Do you know how boring it can get in there?”“Pardon?” Wuntvor asked, confused by the weapon’s complaint.“About time for what? Have we met before? You are the sword I wished for as the first of my seven wishes.I don’t understand what you are talking about.”“First of seven wishes?” the talking sword mused.“Oh, that means we’re not still—we’re in an entirely different—I see.Excuse me.When you’re stuck in a scabbard day in and day out, you lose track of time.I didn’t realize we had started another fairy tale.”“It’s a Brownie tale!” the little fellow contradicted.“Wait a minute,” Wuntvor interjected.He had been confused from the beginning of this whole thing, and somehow, anything that anybody said to him only seemed to make it worse.He stared at the sword.“You mean you were around here all along?”“Hey,” the Brownie said defensively, “I didn’t say you had to wish for something you didn’t already have!”The lad looked open-mouthed at the Brownie [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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