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.“Come on, Mona, baby.Think about the kids.What would you say to the kids?”“Fuck the kids! Right now all I’m worried about is breaking this muthafuckin’ bat over y’all’s faggot-ass heads.”Both still naked, they covered their prized jewels with their hands.Pow!I swung the bat, and it connected with Shawn’s head, sending him careening to the ground as blood and teeth flew everywhere.He hit the ground unconscious and bloody.Next, I set my sights on the bastard who was trying to take my family away again.He looked at me with terror in his eyes.He musta knew that he was about to meet his Maker.“Your turn, you home-wrecking bitch!” I swung the bat at him.Just as I was about to hit bone, he leaped and tried to make it across my bed.He slipped on the satin sheets that I had bought from Pier 1.I smiled with an evil grin, knowing he was now at my mercy.He looked up at me with fear, but he didn’t beg one bit, probably because he wasn’t sorry for what he had done to me and my family.“You gonna pay! I’ma make sure they take your ass outta here in a body bag, muthafucka!” I swung the bat with all my might, breaking his ankle.He yelled in agony as I took my time and broke his knees.Crack! His ass bone.Crack! Crack! Both his arms.He was stretched out on my bed, beaten, bloody, and moaning in pain.I flipped him on his back, making sure he saw the last hit coming.I aimed for his head and went for it.Pow!He wasn’t dead, and I was glad.I decided to let the muthafucka live the rest of his life in a fucking wheelchair.To my surprise, Shawn jumped up and bolted for the door.Like a jackrabbit, I pounced after him with the bat in hand.Just as he reached the steps, I threw the bat at his feet and watched it clip him.He lost his balance and hurled down the uncarpeted steps like a ball.As he fell, I could hear him breaking numerous bones in the process.He lay at the bottom of the steps in a mangled mess moaning for help.“Ain’t nobody here but me and you, Shawn,” I said, bending down and whispering in his ear, “so your bitch ass can cut out the crying.I left yo boyfriend upstairs barely breathing, and your ass is next.”“Mona, please!” he moaned in a low but audible cry.I picked up the bat that followed him on his trip down the steps.“What am I going to do with you?” I questioned him.“All you had to do was stay on this side of the fence, but oh no, you wanted to play on both sides again.All I ever did was love you, Shawn.I forgave you for your infidelity, and vice versa.This is the last straw, and your time here is up.” I swung the bat one last time and hit him in the head.I watched as his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his breath faded away.I knelt down and placed my ear to his mouth, to make sure he was gone for good.After I was sure, I threw the bat down and walked out of my house.I got into my car and drove until I couldn’t drive anymore.I sat in my car on the side of the road and cried my eyes out because of the chaos of my life.I banged on the steering wheel with my hands and my head, trying to get the visions of my madness out of my head.I couldn’t, because they were forever burned into my memory.I just wanted all the pain to go away.It was too much for me to bear.I just couldn’t live this life any longer, and I wanted it to end now.I prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for what I was about to do.I asked Him to take care of my children and my mom.“Please, Lord, let them know that I loved them the best I could.”I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped from my car and ran into traffic just as an eighteen wheeler came bustling down the road.“Noooo!” I screamed out loud as I sat up in my chair with a look of fright.I looked around the room and noticed I was alone.I had fallen asleep at the kitchen table.Luckily, the kids had a movie playing that was louder than it was supposed to be, so they didn’t hear me scream.“It was only a dream,” I said, calming myself down.“Oh, shit! It seemed so real.”I had been having dreams of this nature on and off lately.I was hoping and praying that Shawn was done with sleeping with men, particularly James.Shit, I was hoping I was done sleeping with him.I got up and walked to the kitchen sink and splashed my face with some cold water.I sat down at the table again and calmed my self down mentally and physically.My breath was still erratic, and my thoughts were everywhere.“What in the hell is going on?” I whispered to myself.“All these dreams and shit is bugging the hell out of me.”I couldn’t help but wonder if Shawn was being honest about his homosexual desires.Were they all gone? Could a man just stop being attracted to men? I mean, he has had psychological evaluation by a licensed psychologist.I checked this woman’s credentials, and she came back with a perfect record.I don’t know if I could take another blow, while trying to keep this family alive and together.I bowed my head and said a short prayer.“Lord, please fix this family.I can’t take this anymore.You have to do something now.Lord, I need You.Please, God, fix this.Amen.”As I lifted my head up, I heard Shawn open the front door to the house and come in.I heard a little exchange with the kids, and then his footsteps headed toward the kitchen.I gathered myself emotionally and prepared for his news, good or bad.Chapter 9ShawnKeep It TightOctober 29th, 2018, 6:48 P.M.I walked into the kitchen totally baffled and at a loss for words.This nigga is playing me.Again! I can’t believe the hold he has on people.It’s like he has some kind of power that keeps people spellbound with him.I can’t let this nigga do this to my family again.I knew the children were his, biologically, but I was their father in every sense of the word.I was paying the bills in the house they lived in.I was the one who fed and clothed them, and I wasn’t letting any psycho take them from me.Never.If he wanted a fight, then a fight was what he was going to get.I was going to beat him at his own game.“Hey, baby,” Mona said as I walked in the kitchen.“How did everything go with your dad?”I put on a fake smile.“Everything went great.” I couldn’t possible tell her that my father was sleeping with the enemy.Again.I didn’t think Mona could relive the memories of the past again.She still tossed and turned in the bed at night.In fact, many nights I had to hold her tight, just so she and I could get some sleep.I couldn’t let her know that James wasn’t out of my system, like I’d said.I wanted him to pay for the things he did to her and me, but at the same time, I wanted him sexually too.I was torn, and there were days I just wanted to end it all
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