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Diane Duane [Young Wizards] Not on My Patch (retail) (epub)
Butcher Jim Akta Harryego Dre Rycerz Krolowej
Counselors & Kings Book 2 The Forgotten Realms
Doggone Love Deirdre O'Dare
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[heft] Perry Rhodan Neo 006 D Borsch, Frank
Doctor Who The Ark Paul Erickson
B T Narro [The Rhythm of Riva Bastial Energy (b) (epub)
[S] Diane Adams The Making of Clark's Story [MF]
Bill Adler The Wit

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.As I traveled this journey, I discovered two reasons that account for most failed communication.• Failure to NoticeFirst, people who are not effective communicators often do not notice they are having a problem.Have you ever heard a sales representative say “Wow, we have this deal locked up.They loved us!” only to discover the next day that someone else got the business? Or perhaps you have seen the engineer who says, “I know exactly what the customer wants and here it is” only to find much later that the product is not what the customer wants at all.Maybe you have watched someone trying to make their point long after the audience was no longer listening.These are all examples of people not knowing they did not communicate.Unlike the popular movie, there was no one shouting, “What we have here is a failure to communicate!”Sometimes people fail to notice simply because they are too focused on themselves.If you are worrying about how you look or sound, you will not notice your impact on others.Another reason people seem to fail to notice that they are not being effective is a lack of options.Without options, they may lack the courage to notice that they are not being effective.If you are trying to sell something and you have given your best pitch, you cannot afford to notice that you have not been successful.If you do see your lack of impact or feel that things are not going well, what are you going to say next? You have already given your best and you have nothing better to offer!A lack of response options is the single biggest reason for people to ignore the cues that tell you when you are not being effective.Without options, you cannot respond.You do not know where to go next.Therefore, you simply choose not to notice.Noticing failure takes courage, but it also requires that you have a Plan B available.Most people lack this advantage.• Failure to RepeatThe second discovery about communication I have noticed is that most people who are effective communicators fail to know why.As a result, they cannot be consistently effective.Remember when you had a great day—when everything went well and you sold your ideas effectively? The next morning, you are energized and ready to see another successful day.However, this day does not go so well.People are not listening.Your ideas are being challenged.No one is buying.What happened? It’s not so different from being able to hit a drive 280 yards on the practice tee, straight and down the middle of the fairway, and then finding it impossible to miss a single sand trap on the rest of the course.If you do not know what you did right, you cannot do it again.Most successful sales and management professionals do not know what they do that makes them successful.They are what is often called “unconscious competents.” As a result, when things are going well, they have difficulty knowing why.When something works well one day, they cannot repeat it the next time.It also means they cannot teach their skills to others.Have you ever seen a top sales representative promoted to sales manager only to discover he cannot teach what he knows?Not knowing why you are successful one day means you may not be able to repeat your success when you need it.Without such insight, whether you are selling a product, directing a work group or writing advertising copy, success on Tuesday does not increase the chances of success on Wednesday.In short, the reason for most communication failures can be summarized as follows:1.If there is a problem, you ignore the cues, either because you do not notice or because you do not know what else to do.2.If there is no problem, you do not know what you did right and cannot repeat it.NLP: THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLEIn the early 1970’s, I was involved in the new and evolving psychology of family therapy.In studying the work of therapists and theorists like Virginia Satir, Paul Watslawik, Gregory Bateson, Milton Erickson, Carl Whitaker, and others, my colleagues and I were exploring new territory that had few established rules and emphasized observable results.One outcome of this new perspective on therapy and change was the recognition that some people had skills that consistently changed people’s attitudes and behaviors while the rest of us struggled to have consistent impact.At one point, I was trying to teach a young intern how to work more effectively as a family therapist and was having little success.I was certain my lack of success was due to his resistant and unresponsive manner rather than my clumsy teaching.One day he returned from a workshop in California, and said to me “I just took a course called Neurolinguistic Programming.And it was amazing.They were teaching the same things you are trying to teach me.But when they did it, it made sense!” Thus began my journey into NLP.NLP—or Neurolinguistic Programming1—is based on the observations of John Grinder and Richard Bandler.Trying to answer why some people were effective as change agents and others were not, they began to label the patterns of language and communication that led to successful influence and persuasion.They watched and listened to many people until they were able to distinguish the patterns that led to consistent success.They then modeled these patterns themselves and discovered that by following the same linguistic and non-verbal patterns of communication, they could create change too! As they expanded their study and categorized their observations, their taxonomy of interactional patterns became known as NLP.NLP identified and labeled the patterns of communication that created successful change in others.Whether we were sales professionals or therapists, we now knew what to notice.We could teach ourselves and others to be more observant and responsive.In addition, we now had different response patterns from which to choose.We had choices for responding to others and to different situations.We had a Plan A, B, or C, depending on what was needed.Since 1970, NLP has grown from a relatively unknown set of techniques for therapists to a multi-million dollar self-help industry due to the efforts of Anthony Robbins and others.Like any good idea, NLP has been thoughtfully applied in some arenas as well as foolishly promoted or misrepresented in others.But the fundamental observations and discoveries remain sound.Patterns of communication that influence people and can create change have been labeled and replicated, and these patterns can be used by anyone in the business of selling or persuading.PRINCIPLES OF NLPSeveral principles may help you understand the link between words, psychology, and persuasion that helps account for the power of NLP skills.1.We perceive information quickly without awareness.The nonconscious2 mind can receive information and even make decisions.In fact, the mind reacts more quickly to nonconscious stimuli than it does when the conscious mind is aware of what is being seen or heard.The conscious mind seems to add resistance and context confusion.The message is slowed, filtered and even distorted at times.Much of what we call “intuition” is really perception outside our conscious awareness.2 [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]