Beauty Sheri S. Tepper

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." I sealed it and marked the wax with the signet ring from the box.It shows a winged being which I take to be an angel.I feel rather glum as I look at what I am to wear to the banquet, a dress provided by Aunt Lavender which has all too obviously been made over from something previously worn by someone else.It has achieved a pallid limpness much like that of the cleaning rags which are always drying on the kitchenyard wall.I must not succumb to vanity.It does not matter how I look.9LATER, MIDNIGHTAs I was about to put on the limp dress, Doll knocked on my door and came in with a gown.It was of heavy India silk, the color of a deep pink rose, worked with silver and seed pearls at the neck and at the edges of the full oversleeves.Beneath the long sleeves were tight sleeves of silver cloth and the underskirt was of silver cloth as well, with roses embroidered in a border at the bottom.It had belonged to my mama, Doll said.All this time it had been folded away in clean linen in one of the attics, awaiting an opportunity to be worn again.I looked across my room to the dress provided by Aunt Lavender.It was poor, ugly stuff, compared to this.Doll saw my glance and nodded."I saw what you were goin' to wear," she said."Thought it wasn't nice enough.Your mama'd have a fit, seein' you in that.All her clothes are up there in the attic, and you should make use of them.""Did you like my mama?" I asked Doll."Nicest lady ever," she said."And I don't care what they all say, she wouldn't kill herself."Well, I'd never thought she had! But there was no time to talk about it, for Doll set about getting me dressed and doing up my hair in a knot in back, with part of it flowing down.Most of the women would be wearing wimples and or headdresses with peaks or wings and veils flowing from them.I hate headdresses because they muffle up my head, but then I wash my hair a lot and most women don't.Washing the hair is dangerous because it fevers the brain, they say, but I'd never noticed mine being anymore fevered than usual."There now," Doll said when she was finished with me."You look a lot like her around the eyes."I caught her eye in the mirror, and we stared at one another, each knowing exactly what the other was thinking.She had piled my silver-gilt hair up, making it look plentiful and curly.She'd told me before that my eyelashes were as thick and black as Mama's, and my mouth curved just the way Mama's did.The dress fit like a glove, so I knew I was built the way Mama was, too, slender in the waist and nicely plump other places.I even guessed I knew why Doll had found the dress for me.She had got me up to look rather like Mama to remind Papa of Mama because Doll didn't think Mama was dead.I smiled at her and winked.She winked back.There was no pocket in the pink gown, but it had long, full oversleeves.I broke the seal upon the letter and pinned the letter inside my sleeve.When I came into the hall, Papa gave me a puzzled look, as though he might have seen me somewhere before.After a bit his face cleared and I knew he had remembered.Then he looked at Weasel-Rabbit for a while, frowning.I could see him thinking that his second wife was a paltry substitute for his first.All the aunts gasped when they saw me, but they didn't dare say anything with the abbot right there at the table.I simply smiled and sat in my place.So there we all were: Sibylla and her mama and my papa and five aunts, also the abbot and Father Raymond and a little princeling from somewhere as guest of honor, looking at me with admiration and saying courtly things.As luck would have it, I was sitting between the princeling and the abbot.My friend, Giles, was at a table just below me.I saw him watching me, and I blushed and nodded at him, letting him know I thanked him for what he had done.Father Raymond saw me see Giles, and he saw me blush and nod.I know because his brow furrowed up, the way it sometimes does, and he looked first at me, then at Giles, several times.I waited until everyone was eating hungrily and the musicians were playing and the wine steward was going around for the second time.Then I said to the abbot, quite loudly, "Your Reverence, I have the most amazing news.Today I have received a letter from my mama."Silence.Everyone had heard me but Papa, who was busy telling Aunt Terror about a pilgrimage, and everyone stopped chewing or talking except Papa.I said, "It's the most wonderful thing, Your Reverence, though I'm sure you've heard many wonders in your life.I brought it to show you." And with that I tugged it out of my sleeve and spread it out on the table, using his wine flagon to hold it down flat.Everyone was whispering to everyone else.Weasel-Rabbit had gone dead pale.Her mama had little sweat beads all over her forehead.The princeling was very attentive, ready to enjoy whatever happened.The abbot read the letter.He handed it to Father Raymond.Father Raymond read it, flushed, and gave it back to the abbot, his mouth in a funny little quirk as though he couldn't figure out whether to laugh or frown.The abbot read it again, mumbling it out loud, then it went to someone else.By this time, Papa had some idea that something was more than merely a little wrong.The abbot rose to his feet."I cannot unite in matrimony a man who already has a living wife," he said, loud enough for everyone to hear him well below the salt.He got Papa's attention at last."Your daughter has received a letter from her mother.It is dated only four days ago, and thus we know you have a wife still living.""Impossible," said Papa, going very pale."Ridiculous," said one or two aunts."I knew it," cried Aunt Terror."I always knew she'd come back just at the wrong time!"I need say no more about the banquet.Papa was so angry he could not speak.It wasn't an hour after I had come back up to my room that I was startled by the carpenter nailing my door shut.Over the years that poor door has had more than its share of spikes driven through it."You thankless wench," Papa cried."You'll not go off like that flighty witch, your mother."I feel I have achieved considerably more than I had intended.Disrupting the marriage seemed a good idea, merely to get even with Sibylla.Making Papa furious at me wasn't part of the plan.Papa gets so silly when he gets furious.He puts people in the dungeon and then just forgets about them.We used to have a perfectly marvelous goldsmith who made the most wonderful things.Papa got irritated at him and put him in the dungeon.A month later, Papa wanted the man to make him a new salt, but when they took him out, he was almost dead and didn't recover.Papa was fully capable of going off on another pilgrimage and just leaving me locked in the tower to die.Then, when he got back, having happened on an advantageous marriage opportunity for me, he'd probably ask, "Where's Beauty?"Remembering what Doll said about the time Mama was nailed up in here, I went out and took the firewood rope down from the spar and coiled it up under my bed [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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