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.My mother’s sister, Pearl, her husband, Milton, and their son, Martin, always looked out for me, especially when I most needed looking out for.I owe them so much.And as I suspect is not too uncommon in families, in addition to learning from our elders we gain from our youngers.My daughter (and only child), Phoebe, inspired me to do the opposite of what most new parents do: Because of her intrinsic joy, she made me less responsible.Her happiness, positive expectations, and playfulness made me discover the deeper dreamer in me.For that, she was “parent” to me.She remains a total joy.Kathy Drasher, my wife now of seven years, has stimulated a journey we have taken together that has been fun, especially in the midst of the hopscotch directions we have traveled to find a home in a place we both love.She has also taught me about beauty.She is it and she has an eye for it.Her artistry captures my attention on a daily basis.Many colleagues and friends have also been crucial in my life.Albert Scheflen and Robert Plutchik, at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, first helped me thwack out a career path that excited and challenged me.Ada Reif Esser then taught me something about how to add depth to that path.She often read me the riot act, and I trusted her enough to take her admonitions to heart.She is still with me in my heart.Next I met Lionel Tiger, the Charles Darwin professor of anthropology and sociology at Rutgers.His brilliance, gentlemanly manner, and fierce commitment to truth and to mankind continue to influence me.Lionel indirectly guided me to all manner of things that eventually led me to the Max Planck Institute in Seewiesen, Germany, and to Dr.Iraneus Eibl-Eibesfeldt, Nobel Laureate Konrad Lorenz, and Dr.Wulf Schiefenhovel.My years working with them and under the auspices of the institute were vital to my developing self-story.These three bighearted men gave me the gift of showing me that science and the artistry of science could be made one.They helped me find me.George Scribner, first a colleague and very soon thereafter a friend, has it all, a softness that can be strong, and a feeling for the everyday life of people that is as genuine as it is insightful.I value him greatly.I was introduced to Tom McCaffery by someone who wanted to hire me as a consultant, but before she would, she said I would have to “get through” Tom.Well, I don’t know if I got through Tom, but he sure got to me.He got to me as someone who is doing justice to what is and what could be.He is someone to be reckoned with.And I reckon he is also now my friend.I take meeting Jeffrey Rayport as an example of how the seeming chaos of the cosmos can work directly for one’s betterment.A decade before I met Jeffrey, someone I was working with introduced me to someone else, who introduced me to Jeffrey.Jeffrey is singular: the best a friend can be and the best a brain can be.I adore him.I met Michael Spiessbach through a fleeting encounter I had with a mutual acquaintance.These many years later I still think of Michael the same way I did after our first meeting—he’s fun, knows about what comprises a life, is Mr.Curiosity, and stands as a living totem to personal integrity.To all the people I interviewed for this book, some world renowned and some known only in their world, I owe a great deal.Each opened their hearts and minds to me, and in doing so, opened me.The audio recordings and printed transcripts I have of those sessions are to me nothing less than ritual incantations and sacred texts.To highlight just two I interviewed—Wynton Marsalis and Debra Byrd—their ways of being and their ways of expressing their being have no time tag.Their way is age-old and ageless, wise.Two other people I quoted in this book had a similarly huge effect on me: Paul Simon and Bruce Springsteen.Paul Simon speaks eloquently about collaboration when talking about the making of his award-winning album Graceland.His way of fusing impulses from different cultures into a singular vision that retains the authenticity of each contribution stands as a model for every person and every nation, if we ever are going to stop “tumbling into turmoil” and see more peaceful and brighter days.Bruce Springsteen.well, I now know why he’s “the Boss.” This man is living a totally conscious life, conscious of his own and others’ courage and frailties, and conscious of his responsibilities to himself and to his audience.He’s the benevolent leader humankind has always hoped and waited for.All these people helped me dream.All these people are a lasting part of my self-story.They are essential.IntroductionWHO ARE YOUR favorite characters from novels? My guess is that even if you don’t read much fiction, you have a few.Maybe it’s Jane Eyre because she’s so strong.Or Huck Finn because he’s so crafty.Perhaps it’s Hermione Granger, from the Harry Potter novels, because she’s so smart and centered.Then again, it could be Sam-I-am, from Green Eggs and Ham, because he’s so damned persistent.All of these characters resonate with us because they feel larger than life.They seem iconic, representing outsize versions of us.They have great stories.Maybe you’ve considered characters like these from time to time and wondered what it would be like to have that kind of substance, that kind of consequence, to have that kind of effect on the world.What would it be like to live a life that has the impact and color of a great literary character?Maybe it’s time for you to find out.Because you have everything inside you necessary to have a great, meaningful, and constantly alive story—to be the Hermione or Huck in your world and in the worlds of the people around you.To contribute big- time and live big-time.As you follow me through these pages, you’ll see that all the resources you need are already at your disposal.I’ve been studying this my entire life, I know this to be true, and I’m ready now to share what I’ve discovered with you.A life in search of storyMy background is in cognitive neuroscience and anthropology, so studying human behavior is a regular gig for me.I’ve studied chimpanzees and preliterate tribes and investigated how they use tools and rituals to affect their world [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]